Van of Love
02:48
As a whole, the English have one particular trademark holiday tradition. The seaside caravan holiday. I'm going to hazard a guess that at least 70% of you reading this have partook in a caravan holiday at least once in your life, whether it was willingly or completely forced. If you havent, well quite frankly you're missing out.
Dont get me wrong, this holiday tradition has its flaws. One of those appeared on the first night of our weekend stay, when my mum and I returned to our caravan from my cousins to find our heater didnt work. Not a great start when you're in a tin can with no double glazing. However, we found our wartime spirit (another thing the English love) and put the oven on with the door open. Effective, yet im not sure whether that was from actual heat or slowly going numb from gas inhalation. Either way, we went to bed in what appeared to be a room the size of a shoebox with an extra duvet and tried to fall asleep without our ears and nose going completely numb. I did not, however, expect to be woken up at around 6am by something crash landing on the roof of our tin can. I havent entirely ruled out the possibility that it was a geographically confused penguin, it was that cold.
Either way, after waking up and putting the oven back on we regained some feeling in our extremities and was able to continue with our weekend. This involved swimming (my little cousins forced me, I'll have you know) a walk on the beach and countless hours spent in the amusements, a highlight of the seaside break. Trust me, you are never too old for a 2p machine. The joy winning a tiny gold buddha statue can bring to 8 people is shocking, and yes, we did all cheer. You would have done the same.
Just when you think it can't get any better, the entertainment staff (lets call them that) pull out all the stops with, wait for it .... an Abba tribute band. I know, I know, you're jealous I can tell. There was a whole lot of gold sequins and lurex, and drama when one of them forgot to put on their shorts. It was all going on. Holiday parks also allow you to partake in some of the most fantastic people watching you will ever experience in your life, aided by the close proximity of everyone ensuring you are more than likely to bump into them again. This gives the illusion of being able to watch every minute of their social encounters, like caged animals at the zoo. Some of them looked like animals escaped from a zoo, trust me. Far too much body hair to be socially acceptable in a swimming pool, thats for sure.
Athough I may sound like im highlighting the negatives from this weekend away, I am infact doing the complete opposite. These things present some of the funniest moments, from crying with laughter at the man in the caravan opposite sitting on his steps in a purple dressing gown and nothing else (not what you want to see first thing on a sunday morning) to the point where everyone got far too competitive during our 'Beach Olympics' tournament. I believe my Aunt said, "I'm not letting her win just cause she's my child.". These moments are the ones you remember, and the ones that make you want to do it all over again.
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